The hidden treasures of Amazon 1-Star reviews

I was inspired by this review of Orwell’s 1984, that came trough the lovely B3tards:

Do not buy this book if you’re expecting to find out anything at all about 1984, as this writer seems to have been living on a different planet…Orwell completely fails to capture the uplifting vibe that was the pop explosion of the summer of ’84… maybe he lived in Norwood.

So I immediately thought “I wonder what else is out there?” So went through some random favourite classics, and look what I found…(highlights added)

On Slaughterhouse 5:

This book is a complete waste of time. It is so difficult to read as it jumps back and forth in time. There is no great climax and the stories within just seem to be included by the author to bulk it up.
Childrens crusade? HA! Childrens book more like!

 

Old Man and the Sea:

This "novel" was the worst "piece of literature" I have ever read. If you can spare yourself from the agony of reading a hundred or so pages about an old man and a fish, than do so. This book brought the worst period of my life to a dramatic climax. I was more miserable reading this book than when my wife divorced me and my parents disowned me. I now have no one but at least I don’t have to read this book anymore. Thank you god.

 

The Sun also Rises:

I read this as my first Hemingway,and I have to say that it was thoroughly underwhelming. The characters just hang around drinking, and saying things like ‘What rot!’. The dialogue is comical and unrealistic, and you have to ask yourself what exactly happened when you get to the end. The answer? Nothing. Lack of plot is usually mace up for by interesting character development and interplay, but all we have here is a group of rich conceited fops, gracing Europe with their presence. A waste of time.

Beloved:

It feels as if you suddenly stumbled upon the hallucinogenic dreams of someone who just watched "Roots" and then dropped acid.

 

Light in August:

This book tells a story that can be likened to a horrible traffic accident caused by mean, wicked, and spiteful people. In the traffic accident, everything is on fire,
but the cars passing by cannot refrain from slowing down to stare
at the decapitated head by the side of the road.

 

Peter Pan:

Peter is just an awful child, his arrogance and self importance outweighing any good that might be seen in him and Wendy is just such a girl that I found myself wanting it to end rather near the beginning. I just really disliked this book, it was, now that I really think about it, quite sinister. I just couldn’t see the joy that so many others have seen in it. I was more on the side of the mother who had her children leave and forget her.

 

Animal Farm:

Animals Can’t Talk!!
This book is terrible, I mean, I know it was written like ages ago like in the 50’s when movies were all about giants ants and stuff, but none of the animals on this farm were even radioactive or giant or anything, so who cares? They just kind of fight amongst themselves and that’s it! The whole book

 

God bless the interwebs.

What will you find?

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